34 Minutes

So the pre funk last week was funky. That is a good thing. As predicated, multiple areas to meander our way around to do testing, i.e. multiple waiting rooms. I got to thinking about how many of this one particular chair model was all over the Penn hospital and offices. That chair company is making a friggin killing. But why are the friggin chairs so uncomfortable? We now conclude Deep Thoughts with Lennon-Saylor.

Results are back and fine. There was one tiny item where I'll need to do more blood work the day before but no big whoop. Something about my blood and antibodies. Don't worry, and blah-blah-blah, routine-ish, blah-blah-blah, is what I heard.

In our last episode of Tick Tock Click Clack, we were taking about finally meeting the chick that is going to feel me up and it was due to be a love match beyond what eHarmony.com or Match.com could have predicted. And we weren't disappointed.

Dr Stef is in Peru operating on babies as I type this. She travels and does this from time. I assume its something pro-bono-ish.  Maybe we come to know her as St. Stef? You know I love my nick names. However her title Surgical Director already has such a nice ring to it. Hmmm. Setting expectations too high? Ok ok but catch this. Was asking how long my thingamajig will take. About 40 mins for the actual parts replacement but 4-5 hr start to finish for the complete open her up, oil and lube job. I digress. The point being here is that she throws in a story about last week she did a heart transplant. COOL! On a 7 week old. NO WAY?! And it took her 34 minutes. HUH!? Her next comment was that is takes her longer than that to get out the door in the morning just to walk her dogs. Ok, I think I just fell for you. The moral of the story she was trying to show me was that once the stage is set and everything/one is in place, it goes pretty quick. The moral of that story for me tho, is different.  Its that she KICKS ASS! If she can do that, this is like … wait for it … tying her shoes.

Halos. Too Much?

I do think I've been freaking people out a little bit in this space. Well, this is real life and not a shellacked Facebook post. My brother summed it up nicely: well by reading your blog "you seem stressed." Sure. Thats an acceptable observation to me because my writing seeps out from the depth of me that is far below my surface. Do understand that the folks at work who saw me most frequently over this journey so far, agree I have done a good job at keeping it together. As in, I don't know how you are doing this (functioning). As in, I had no idea. As in, I am a bad ass at keeping up appearances. Writing is therapy. So seeing someone pour onto a page inside out, can be too revealing. It doesn't mean that you've seen the whole of me tho.

To this point, when the tough gets going - like the for realz shit, true crisis mode - the rubber hits the road. I think having a mom die early-ish, you figure out how to deal with the big stuff. But not so quick Lennon; Don't give yourself too much credit. Recently saw a study that cited in times of true crisis, the absolute best comes out in people. I believe it. They used the example of a car wreck on the side of the road. People do stop. Its called humanity and we aren't all jaded and we aren't all apathetic. Just a few are, and thats ok. We need some Negative Nellies and Negators out there, to balance the Sunshine and Lollipop population. 

That's why so many of you have reached out. That's why I feel so loved right now. Now its about a focus on "getting right in the head" as a friend put it. How to do that? Different for all. For me, I am drawn to focus on positive, light, happiness.

For example, saw a fantastic special on PBS recently about the study of happiness.  DVR'ed the documentary and I keep going back to it.  I sincerely hoping you look this up and view it. Click HERE for the trailer. It deeply resonates with me each time I watch because so many of the building blocks that created the foundation of how I was raised, are covered in this movie. And that is comforting to me way deep inside. It reinforces the logic listed above, And most importantly, reminds us we do have some control over our happiness. So own it. Invest in it.

A constant theme I return to is how lucky I am. That drum beat is becoming louder now. This could be so so so much worse. We could be without health insurance. We could be one catastrophic medical claim or incident from losing it all. There are so many homeless families, mentally ill not getting care, unserved veterans, abused souls roaming this country. Not to mention the straight up epidemics, disasters and wars that continuously rage across the globe. 

Then there are the friends. The faces we can connect to "conditions." The faces & stories that assign a human being we know, to our worst fears. What about the next cancer screening, my friend? Will she be cancer free? What about the co worker's wife who had a major stroke? What about her roller coaster? What about that husband's journey? What about their family unit trying to put the pieces back together?

I am already the lucky one. I am fixable. I am mendable in a short amount of time. I have insurance. I live in the era of advanced medicine. This A+B = C equation my family has is solvable. My risk factors are crazy low. Did you know statistically, I am at more risk driving a car than laying down for this this … thingamajig. This is literally nothing, in the scheme of things. So rest easy my friends. All will be good. Save and send your prayers to forgotten and abused souls instead.